Why do I go back Where I'm not wanted? Why do I speak up When my words are wrong?
I'm not like you I'm different I'm strange I'm a weirdo I'm a freak I'm broken I'm unwanted I'm a misfit I'm unlovable I'm alone I deserve this
I'm sorry for existing I'm sorry I'm not dead I'm sorry the pills didn't work Or the knife I'm sorry I was scared I'm sorry I couldn't jump I'm sorry you have to see me I'm sorry (please stop) I'm sorry I hurt I'm sorry I can't stop crying I'm sorry for apologising
I'm sorry I disturbed your nice life
I'll be gone soon I'll go quietly You won't even know I was here
A personal exploration of autism from a brother’s perspective, including family relationships, philosophy, neuroscience, mental health history and ethics