I Don’t Know What To Say

I Don’t Know What To Say

My daughter turns 18 in a month’s time. I’ve not been part of her growing up, not been there as a parent to her. There are reasons of course but I’m not going to go into that now. What matters to me is that she recently chose to get in touch.

She sent me a message via Facebook which I didn’t see for nearly a week because it went into my Others folder. I have no idea what she thought as the days went past and I didn’t respond; I replied as soon as I read it. We established that we’d both like to keep in touch which makes me happy.

That was two weeks ago. I keep thinking about starting a conversation with her but I have no idea how to go about it. I realize I know next to nothing about her. I don’t know what her interests are, what she studied at college, places she likes to go, food she likes to eat. I don’t know how she feels about me.

The last time I saw her was at my mother’s funeral, a cathartic day on which I was finally able to move on from the pain I felt since my breakup with her mother. I think I’d like to see her again, face to face. I have some anxiety because I can’t predict how it would go.

Writing this has helped me gather my thoughts. I guess I could just start by asking about the kind of things I’ve mentioned here. This social interaction business sure is difficult — I’ve got so little experience and in this case it means so much to me that I’m terrified of getting it wrong.

Here goes… Wish me luck!

14 thoughts on “I Don’t Know What To Say

  1. Good luck Alex.
    I hope it goes well.
    Just be yourself and honest about how you are feeling I think.
    Sorry if that sounds trite. Of course, what may work for me may not work for you. [Maybe I should say nothing, but I wanted to wish you good luck anyway!]

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Alex, just be yourself. You are a lovely, genuine, intelligent person. You have missed a lot of pleasure (and pain, anxiety, trauma and panic) with your daughter’s growing up. It terrifies (and thrills) us all. You are not unique in these feelings. Sometimes you just have to go for it. Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh Alex it’s beyond awesome that you want to keep in touch with each other!
    We get it wrong sometimes; that’s life! As such there was only one thing I ever wished from my mom, and that was for an apology for those wrong turns. Somehow a heartfelt apology would have shown that she did care.
    I wish you an exciting getting-to-know-you journey ahead!x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Good luck Alex, I wonder if you can compare notes with someone about what your daughter might like for her 18th? And I’m sure that she will be at least as interested to hear all about you as you are about her. Bob.

    Liked by 1 person

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