Say What You Mean

Say What You Mean

I’m trying to make sense of what you say,
But meaning keeps eluding me. I try
To get you to explain, to be precise,
But fail to crack the code; I’m left confused.

“You don’t spend any time with me,” you say,
Although I’m in proximity all night.
I guess you must mean more by these few words
Than superficial reading can discern.

In lieu of reading minds, I query you
To tease out your intent in speaking thus.
My literal approach has let me down:
Unable or unwilling, you decline
Request after request from me to put
Your evident concerns a different way.

You speak a language using words I know,
Combined in cryptic metaphors to bear
A meaning that may seem so clear to you:
It might as well be Mandarin to me.
So once again I offer up my plea,
I wish for once you’d just say what you mean.

2 thoughts on “Say What You Mean

  1. Oh yes. Hidden meanings. I have said this to my husband before, actually. Things like what you've written in your poem. "You don't spend enough time with me." I wanted to articulate that I wanted him to talk with me a bit more about things that I find important and am interested in too, spend time cuddling up with each other (especially when I'm having a rough time), those sorts of things instead of him spending so much time playing games. Even though we're in the same room there can be a feeling of not really being together, at least not in a married/couple kind of way. Sometimes I cannot articulate that well. It helps when I write these things down and read the list to him and then we discuss it from there. But I think that many times there are hidden meanings that do not make themselves known to me because of the AS and the other person gets upset with me or exasperated that I cannot "get" what they mean. I'm better at this than I used to be but by far I'm not up to NT "standards".

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  2. It's a problem for my wife because I tend not to acknowledge her presence although I am aware that she is there – I just get on with reading my book or doing a crossword or whatever else.For me, just being aware that the other person is close by is sufficient for me not to feel alone. My wife on the other hand needs physical contact – holding hands, cuddling – or else she feels isolated even though she may be in the company of a number of people.I don't always remember how I should act around her so she feels at ease – there are so many things to remember and it gets lost in the muddle.

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